you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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