About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
