batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
