I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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