Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
