Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
