At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Boobs are out for the taking
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
