i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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