She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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