I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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