How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize