nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
