i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
