haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
