so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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