There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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