When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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