he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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