So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
