But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
