My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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