Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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