she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
