Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
