"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
