She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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