the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
