you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
