Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
