Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
