I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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