I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
