just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
