im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
