I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
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Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
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I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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