But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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