Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she looked like the before picture.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
