I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
