Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
