By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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