Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
