Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
