Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
