I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize