today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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