So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
