birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
