I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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