something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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