Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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