It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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