i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
