hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
