People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
