Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
how does that bad decision feel?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
