He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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