***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
